OK, Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a joke.  I’m bringing to you, unveiled by Triumph International Japan Ltd, the first solar-powered lingerie.  Seriously.

I know what you’re thinking, “No, really, where’s the punch line?”  There isn’t one.  This is happening right before your very eyes.

 

I heard about this while driving around for work and listening to ABC news (for stuff just like this to talk about on the show and this site).  As soon as I heard about this I immediately called James (yes THE James from our podcast), who was at home and had access to the internet at that exact moment.  He quickly went online to foxnews.com to verify what I just told him, and there it was, in all it’s green glory.

 

(please keep in mind this conversation I was having while driving was done on a Bluetooth in complete compliance with NJ cell phone driving laws, for and police officers who may be reading this article)

 

Anyway, I did extensive research on this just to see what this is all about.  In Japan being “eco-friendly” is huge right now and Triumph International Japan LTD, a Japanese lingerie company, has added this to their current line of eco-friendly attire.  As pictured above, the solar panel is worn on the stomach and will generate enough power to charge a cell phone or an ipod.  The two pouches that look like normal bra lift inserts actually are used as reusable drink holders to discourage the use of other disposable containers, as well as adding a lift (until you get thirsty).  Yes there is a straw that inserts into the brassier cup. No pun intended. The matching panties are not connected or solar-powered in any way, they just complete the set.

 

I have been reading a few press releases about this to see what they’re really trying to get at with this because as Triumph spokeswoman Yoshiko Masuda said, “People usually can not go outside without wearing clothes over it.”  This is another product in the line designed to show how “going green” can reach every aspect of our lives.  Others in the line include a bra that turns into a reusable shopping bag and one that has metal chop stick to encourage the use of reusable chop sticks.  Again I am being totally serious.

 

I really don’t think this is going to catch on at all.  How many of you remember the solar-powered necklace they had in the late 80’s?  OK so if you do, when was the last time you saw one?  The big problem here is it’s not like you can wear it around and, as far as lingerie goes, it’s not very attractive, which defeats the point of lingerie.  Also how freaked out would you be if you saw a woman drinking out of a straw that was going down her shirt and while she was drinking her breasts were getting smaller?  I don’t know about you but I’d run screaming into the night (or day for that matter).  I know the message they are trying to get across, that we can use alternative energies in a lot of different ways.  I’m all for it, as long as it’s practical.  In my opinion they totally missed the mark on that, but they did give me something to write about, so thank you Triumph.

 

Since you are all probably wondering, “So how does this astro-turf looking nightmare look on an actual woman?” I have included the most G-Rated picture from the press releases.  Not that there were any non-G-rated ones.

 

 

So there you go folks.  I wish I had a punch line for you, but I don’t.  Feel free to comment with your own.