Hello lovers of the meaner things in life, it is I Cerberus, your fearless guide in the maddening psyche of the voiceless nerd.  It has been too long and I ask your pardon, but I assure you the time away has not quelled my rage, and today I have for you the first true entry to the approaching summer blockbusters — X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

(*note from Andy*: this article contains a few spoilers about the film, so please see the film first before continuing, unless you really don’t care…)

This particular Marvel comics movie adaptation is unique.  You see some Marvel movies suck ass, i.e. Daredevil, Electra, Fantastic Four, and Spider-man 3.  Then some are great Spider-man 1-2, Iron man, the second Hulk movie, and the first two X-men.

X-Men Origins Wolverine is unique, for it falls in between – in a whole different realm of description that can only be described as  ”eh, it was alright.”  Let me explain myself.  The action sequences were very good and fun to watch, but Wolverine’s origin story seemed pieced together from other story lines and not derived from the “Wolverine Origins” graphic novel.  Still I liked seeing Wolverines soldier past, but found myself disappointed with the whole lack of Weapon X torture methods back-story, which was the birth of Wolverine’s animalistic rage and fury (not just his claws).  The sorrow he endures in the movie just wasn’t enough to bring out the opus of ultra violence that exudes from Wolverine…

Oh and help me out; was it so hard to make the guy playing Sabertooth look like freaking Sabertooth?  I know they were shooting for a family resemblance but have pity for the fan boys who foolishly expect quality. Also what is the relationship between this Sabertooth and the Sabertooth in the first X-men movie?   One has a guy who looks like the character but doesn’t act like him, the other has one that acts like him but doesn’t look like him.  Which is better?  It depends on if you would like a pink costumed dead-on Spider-man.

Now be forwarned, yes, Deadpool is in the movie.  Yes, Ryan Renolds is playing him – and yes they did screw with his character: as “Weapon11″.  Including weird video game-esque boss-battle that bares to ask to mind two questions:

1. Was it necessary to ruin an already established and popular character?

2. How does he bend his elbows with his Frankenstein sword arms? WTF!

Now take that into account, then add a rushed ending involving adamantium memory seeking bullets (no I’m not kidding).

It’s a decent superhero movie, and good action movie, just not a good fan movie.  It wouldn’t be as bad except they pretty much marketed it as a fan flick – and that if nothing else made it a bit disappointing.

Well until next time may blood flow from every “Snick, Snick”.

This entry was posted by cerberus on Monday, May 11th, 2009 at 10:01 pm and is filed under Entertainment, Movies, Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.